Saggy Boobs, My Greatest Fear

One of my greatest fears is getting saggy boobs. Yep. You read that right… saggy boobs.

That isn’t something that you would normally think of, but my fear comes with a story.

How a Seven Year Old was Scarred for Life

*warning: boobies

So long ago - when I was about seven or eight - I was sitting in the bathroom, alone, on the toilet, going pee, alone. We had one of those tiny bathrooms where there is only one in the whole house, and you have to make sure you knock, because there is no lock on the door.

Well, I was sitting there alone, and suddenly the door opens. I make all attempts to say that I am in there, and I am busy, but in comes my great grandmother.

I am only halfway through my business, so I have to sit there, unable to leave until I am finished. She asks if it is okay if she comes in, and I said something along the lines of “no, but if you really have to, sure” and she stays.

Then… THEN… she proceeds to take her shirt off… And if you can imagine, there is little seven year-old me, looking at the ground, freaking out, and trying to finish my dump as fast as possible.

But it just wouldn’t happen.

Then the bra comes off. *brain screaming**poop not moving any faster*

The water turns on…

She starts washing her boobs in the sink (right next to the toilet). *Oh crap, this is going to take a while, poop faster!*

I gotta say, these were not like average boobs that you expect to see/look forward to seeing some time in your life (either on yourself or someone else), these instead resemble wrinkly, deflated balloons.

So... saggy boobs were being washed, I was trying to poop as fast as possible, and no matter how much I tried avoiding looking, the sagginess was always in my peripheral vision. She was scrubbing away, and I was just wondering why she thought it was okay to invade my time on the toilet (which I thought was supposed to be just me) and if she knew she was scarring a seven-year-old FOR LIFE.

God must’ve felt my discomfort because he finally let the turd be free. Then I am pretty sure I wiped, put on my pants, and left the room faster than lightning (seriously, I was probably running).

Honestly, I would probably barely react to seeing saggy boobs now, but the fear of me getting them someday is definitely still there. Hopefully it never happens… but if it starts, I will just get them amputated or something…

I am definitely not having any deflated balloons for boobies.

On another note..ish, I am going to Japan soon for a couple months, and my plan while I am there is to go to a few onsens (public bathhouses) so we will see what my actual reaction is today (to saggy boobs), or if I will be okay. Either way, a post about Japanese Onsen is coming up eventually! :D

Edit - All people are beautiful no matter shape, size, color, and saggy boobness... and I will probably totally be fine with it when I get them (the boobs of sagginess) because it is just a part of life. 

Edit - I have now gone to a Japanese Onsen! No fear or bad reactions from saggy boobs (or boobs in general), SO WE ARE GOOD! It was awesome actually. Post should be coming soon, keep an eye out. 


  1. I wonder if she was cleaning up after one of your baby siblings spit up on her? I've had that happen before, right down the shirt.... Yes, ewww! Great telling of a childhood memory, Joscelin!

  2. Possibly, I am sure there is something I did not quite notice since I was so young. I thought of that as I was writing, because of how many times the baby in our home as pooped/puked on me recently. Love ya! Thanks for reading!


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